The Need for Parents

Translated from: Evenimentul Zilei Thursday March 30, 2006 Author: Ramona Ursu

The Need for Parents

An 11 year old boy from the village of Deleni, Iasi County, hung himself because he missed his mother who had gone off to work in Italy to buy him a computer.

Razvan Suculiuc was an only child. He was 11 years old and was the best student in the 4th grade class at the elementary school in Deleni. Four weeks ago, his mother went off to work in Italy. She said she would be back in 3 months, but Razvan did not have the patience to wait that long. Torn up because he missed his mother, he put a plan into action that would bring his mother home more quickly; but it would cost him his life.

Two days before this tragedy, the boy told his teacher that he really missed his mother. On that fatal day in Geography class, he kept his eyes on the map of Europe, tracing in his mind the road from Italy to Romania. His teacher, Elena Stamate, said that the children told her that Razvan was happy that he had found a solution which would bring his mother back home, but no one asked him what that solution was. His best friend, Andrei Balan, age 13, said that an hour before he hung himself, he had seen Razvan do something strange. "I went to him to invite him to come over for us to play games on the computer. He was in the kitchen with a hammer and was hammering nails into the ceiling. I didn't ask him why he was doing that. He told me that he would come shortly to play and that he was really missing his mother. I didn't realize what he meant by that."Andrei went back home to wait. After a couple of minutes, Razvan went to Andrei's house to play the computer. Mihaela Balan, Andrei's mother, heard someone call at the gate, but Andrei didn't hear. "I was busy in the courtyard and I didn't pay much attention. I saw Razvan heading toward his house and I saw him go in the door because our houses are across the street from each other," she said.

A half hour later, Razvan's father arrived at home. The village heard some screams. The father had discovered his child hung by a rope suspended from the ceiling. Mihaela Balan said, "I heard Vasile's cries that his child had died. I froze. You know how it is in the village--this kind of tragedy is a tragedy for the whole village, not just one family. I ran with everybody else to the house. I called the police and the ambulance. Someone stood on a chair and let him down. He was dead by then."

His teacher is concerned that the boy will not have a Christian funeral because the Orthodox church does not do funerals for people who commit suicide. This woman cries continually and goes several times a day to the casket to "kiss her little angel". "I learned that Razvan and his father had an agreement. Whenever he got a good grade, his father would give him the cell phone to call his mother. On the day he died, Razvan had received a very good grade in school. But his father did not give him the telephone because he said it would use up all his minutes," said Mihaela Bilan.

Razvan's mother is due to return to Romania today. Razvan's teacher is convinced that when the mother returns the effect of the tragedy will be doubled. The father is accompanied all the time by people from the village because he says that he wants to die. "We don't want an even great tragedy to happen, that's our fear," said the teacher.

Psychologists maintain that tragedies like this are an expression of a social phenomenon. Psychologist Gabriel Crumpei says, "It is a phenomenon often found among children and adolescents who remain alone at home when their parents go off to another country to work." Razvan's teacher is afraid for the other children. "Of my 20 students, 5 are still alone at home in the care of other relatives. Young parents decide to leave their children for a couple hundred euros," said Razvan's teacher. A recent study by the Social Alternatives Foundation, showed that over 4,200 students from Iasi city have one or both parents working in another country. Sixty five percent of them said that the thing they miss most is the love of their parents. Last year, thirty minors in this situation were sentenced for different crimes. There are currently more than 2 million Romanians working outside the country.