Our Pipeline Case Son

Our story may be just one of many, but it is our story and it is Ioji’s story…we believe it is time to get it out there. This is actually the story of Ioji’s childhood. For those of you who don’t know us, we are parents of a Romanian adoption pipeline case. Our Romanian son’s name is Ioji. We have had a relationship with him since he was 5…he is 11 now. Ioji’s birth mom abandoned him when he was born. His birth father died when he was 11 days old. He grew up first in the leaganal and was then placed in the state orphanage in Ludus. He has suffered from malnutrition and abuse (both physical and emotional).

For the first few years after we met Ioji we were under the impression that adoption was impossible. In 2001 we established a foundation, Livada Orphan Care - Fundatia LOC (www.livada.com), to serve orphans in Romania and are in the country several times a year. We would get permission to take Ioji out of the orphanage for a few days at time. We became very bonded to him and he to us…he calls us Mom and Dad and he calls our daughters, his sisters. In 2003 we learned and were encouraged by Romanians who understood the system to go for adoption as an exception under the law. Ioji was 8 years old at that time. We traveled to Bucharest and were told that an exception would be made. About 5 days later, it was announced that the law had changed and exceptions were banned. We were all crushed.

When Ioji was 9, his birth mother, whom he had never heard from or seen in his life, showed up at the orphanage on a weekend…a caregiver handed him over to her…no questions asked. Realizing the horrible error, the orphanage officials contacted our foundation in Romania and asked us to help them find Ioji…we heard about it by email and were horrified as you can imagine. It took 2 days to track him down. His mother is a street person with no actual address. They found Ioji in a village, filthy and scared. His birth mother had heard that some Americans were interested in Ioji and she didn’t want to miss out on “the money”. Evidently she had another son, older than Ioji, that was adopted to a family in America years before. His name was also Ioji. She didn’t get any money for the first son and didn’t want to miss out this time. Some of the people in the village told our director, Bruce Thomas whom some of you know, that it was good thing that he showed up when he did as the birth mother’s plan if she couldn’t get some money for Ioji from us, was to sell him in a neighboring county to pedophiles.

While Ioji was at the orphanage in Ludus, we did all we could to supply him with a few of the creature comforts of life…new clothes, shoes, toiletries, a picture album, etc…only to learn that each time these items were taken from him including the picture album…we later found the picture album in the possession of one of the workers…all of the pictures we put in were gone.

Ioji at age nine still couldn’t read and no one seemed to care. When we went to the orphanage in July 2004 with my parents to visit Ioji, the orphanage officials were irritated that we had permission to take him out again…who knows why…so they sent him out to us in girls clothes (picture attached) just to humiliate him. The end of that visit was the hardest ever for all of us…we all knew that when Ioji went back he would be physically beaten just for being out with us. On the morning of his return, Ioji told us adamantly that he would not take anything back to Ludus with him “not my toothbrush, not my socks…just put me in the girls clothes and take me back...don’t even gel my hair”. So that’s what we did…there were 7 people in the van as we approached the orphanage including Ioji…we were all in tears, man, woman, young or old…..that day we decided that we would do whatever it took to get Ioji out of the hell hole orphanage…and we did. In October of that year we arranged for him to move into a nice group home run by another private foundation….3 months after the move we asked Ioji what he liked best about the new place. He said, “Well I get food and they don’t beat me…but when can I come home to live with you?”

Ioji also begged us to protect him from his birth mother…he knew that she had been planning to sell him. We told him he could trust the director of the group home he was in to protect him…little did we know what the future would hold.

Every person on this mailing list has been involved in the horrendous fight for the pipeline cases. For us, it is so personal. With everything our foundation does for the orphans of Romania, we can never let go of Ioji. We don’t have the option to “give up”. He is a part of our family and this is his childhood. Somehow we will be united with him as a family…what we are really fighting for right now is time. Let me explain…

Last year we petitioned the local Child Protection Services to allow us to bring Ioji to the U.S. to go to school and get the therapies that he needs (he has many learning and emotional issues including chronic bed-wetting) that cannot be properly treated in Romania. The authorities felt our request was too unusual but allowed us to bring him to the U.S. for 3 weeks for testing so we could document for them what Ioji’s issues are and what treatment is needed…that 3 weeks took place over Christmas last year (2005). It was an amazing 3 weeks… just watching this little boy, who is 11 but acts and looks more like about 8, come to life in our family. He was so cooperative with all of the testing we had done. We even got him $1,300 worth of dental work…he never complained once. The day before he left, we asked him what he would like to do before his return. He told us he would like to sleep in our bed between my husband and me…that was all.

The test results clearly outlined many physical, learning and emotional difficulties which the specialists told us were due mainly to starvation, malnutrition and abuse at a young age. They all said that since he is 11 and still hasn’t gone through puberty yet, there is much that can be done to give him a real future if we can get the therapy going now particularly within our family environment.

So we bring Ioji back to Romania, right on time, and move ahead with the documents so we can hopefully get him back to America for treatment quickly. What happens from there is just a nightmare. First because of Bruce Thomas’ testimony to the EU in Brussels, the local CPS people are upset that they were exposed and decided to take this out on our foundation and in particular, Ioji and the Wallaces. Also, in the meantime, Bertzi, had put out the word to all CPS offices to make all the pending cases go away and reintegrate the children with their biological parents regardless of anything else. So to our horror, CPS tracked down Ioji’s birth mother and gave her paperwork to have rights to Ioji…so far she has missed two court dates. My understanding is that she has one more chance to show up and then the paperwork must be redone….but bottom-line, this is Ioji’s worst nightmare…that his birth mother could have any control over him. We are told that since she has no residence and is a street person, Ioji would not have to go with her but that she would have to sign off on any major decision (whatever that means) concerning Ioji. We keep asking when Ioji gets a say in what happens to him…I believe that at age 11 he does have some say. We all know that his birth mother is just desperate for a source of income and we are very open to helping her except that at this point any help we would give her could possibly be misunderstood.

In the meantime, we speak to Ioji (with an interpreter…his English is not too good but he’s working on it) just about every other week by phone. He always asks how many more months he must wait. We have told him that at this point we have been told no to all of our requests but that we love him and we will never give up. We’ve explained that we will continue to make visits until someone in the government gets a clue. The other day Ioji told us “It seems like the only kids the people in the (Romanian) government know how to take care of are their own…they really don’t care about us (orphans) at all”.

A year or so ago, at the suggestion of a US Embassy official who believed that Bertzi was going to consider the merits of each case based upon whether the child was bonded to the family (through frequent and prolonged contact), we sent Bertzi a personalized letter with the history and 10 pages of photos chronicling our journey and long-term relationship with Ioji believing that she might give our case consideration. We sent the letter with return receipt. Our letter was never acknowledged or answered.

So right now, this isn’t even an issue of finalizing the adoption…our desire is to get the Romanian government to allow Ioji to come to the U.S. to receive the therapy and help he needs and to do it quickly. No one in Romania is going to domestically adopt an 11 year old boy with issues…and so as the debate regarding adoption continues, we are looking for someone in this world that will give us permission to make a life long difference for Ioji. If there is anyone out there who can help us, we would so appreciate it.

The photos attached are of Ioji in the outfit referred to above and then in a family photo taken at Christmas. Lynne



Lynne L. Wallace, CPCU
President
MATSEN Insurance Brokers
1-800-967-6543 ext 222