Enthusiasm blinds expats involved in helping Romania's Orphans

Enthusiasm blinds expats involved in helping Romania's orphans

Laura Lica

Enthusiasm blinds expats involved in helping Romania's orphans

Discussing Romanian orphans has become one of the most sensitive and difficult topics of conversation one can start. My advice: do not do it without taking very careful and extensive measures to be politically correct, to be fair to all parties involved and be sure to be prepared to face severe criticism whatever your point of view may be.

Even if you think you're one of those with a balanced point of view. I only realized this after talking to several expats whose work aims to improve the situation of orphans in Romania.

I should underline at the outset that I consider these people to be very laudable and worthy of admiration. There are not so many who care so much about children and people in general whom they are not related to in any way: they are not family, they are not their friends' family, they are not their people.

But these expats care enough to be ready to change their lives, come to Romania and fight for a better life for these children who belong to no one and are too often either a reason for political disputes, or a reason for national embarrassment. One can imagine such selfless and caring people are quite passionate about what they do. But after talking with several of them, I was surprised to see that while some listened and looked for potential solutions, others developed some sort of unusual extreme thinking, an enthusiasm that sustains a noble cause, but leaves them blind to elements that would make their fabulous progress less spectacular, even though still positive.

It's as if they have taken their mission of improving Romania's image so seriously that they are not ready to admit there are any flaws left. Romania has been making significant progress in child protection, but not as much as the numbers show. And because these numbers are actually children, I do consider it is imperative we should all be aware of the imperfections, so we can make it as good as we wish it was.

One of the central issues debated right now is the deinstitutionalization of orphans across the country following the European Union's directives. Romania impressed Europe with how quickly it closed down a lot of its institutions and reintegrated children back into their families, foster parents or homes.

But I have seen and talked to several children who were returned to their families after their orphanage or special schools (for children with disablities) were closed down and I can say, they were not happy: they were dirty, they had lice, they barely had anything to eat, and they told me with their own tiny voices:" I miss being at the orphanage. They gave us biscuits there and we could watch cartoons once a week".

This particular little story made quite a few people blast: "Aaaa! So you think it's better for these children to live in orphanages!", "You think Romania has a problem with alcoholism?! I'll show you alcoholism problems in Ireland!", "Well, You're saying they had bad mothers? So you think Romanian women are different from other women in other countries?! You think Romanian women are bad mothers and they abandon their children!"

No. No. No. No one says they were better off in orphanages. But I believe some of the impressive numbers were not obtained because of the mesmerizing efficiency of the system, but because of superficial measures taken in a hurry at the cost of some children's future. And this is a good enough reason for me to think one should look less at the numbers, and see these children for the human beings they are. They are not a list of names in some orphanage's EU criteria. I do not want to minimize Romania's accomplishments in any way.

We locals are also sick of hearing people abroad talking only about our orphans and our misery. It is a fact that Romania has come a long way since the world's magazines and TV stations broadcast the terrifying images of communist orphanages. But we must also all make a stand against covering up and artificially embellishing the reality, exaggerating our progress, at the cost of children's lives. I can say I have seen enough unhappy children, barely surviving poverty, in families who were in no way ready to take them back.

I can say the state and NGOs involved in helping orphans in Romania should look carefully at how these children are doing. How many of the tens of thousands who were taken from the orphanages are actually doing better. Alternative solutions can be found. We can stop making them another sacrificial generation.